​From 'St Filica News' June 2026

An unnamed, clearly unashamed admirer writes:

​

   An expectant buzz of anticipation was in the air as Producer Charlie Payne, the Broadshire’s own better-looking answer to Phineas T Barnum, took to the stage. In an excellent, fluent and humorous advisory, he ran through the elf ‘n safety and then, assuming the Filkins audience had a full complement of maiden aunts and persons who had not switched on any form of electronic communication in the last 30 years, we were cautioned as to the existence of ‘Gender Fluidity’ and the inclusion of some foul-mouthed language. Bearing in mind that René was to come in Allo, Allo he might also have mentioned ‘sex pests’.

   ‘Death Star Canteen’ by Suzy Eddie Izzard and the main cause of all the ‘trigger warnings’ was the first item up. This was a bit of an outlier and a sketch that never actually aired on the BBC. Nevertheless, it was funny, despite swearing that would have made my Granny blush. Incongruity and people not quite ‘on the same page’ were the fount of Izzard’s humour. Dinner Lady (Avril Payne) turns not a hair at the sight of Darth Vader (Paul Floyd) marching towards the counter in his full regimental Death’s Head Hussar’s number ones. Instructed in estuarial English by this unflappable minion to ‘take a tray’, Darth is incensed at his lack of impact and resorts to the classic ‘Do you know who I am?’ before going on to list what he might do to the impassive Dinner Lady who responds nasally ‘you still have to take a tray’. Darth’s blood pressure reaches critical mass when the next customer (Lorraine Chitty) inadvertently pushes in leading to a farcical to and fro in which the infuriated Darth is confused with his brother Jeff. All well delivered by the actors and a good warm up for what was to come.

   The main diet of the evening, the BBC sketches, had all been commissioned and aired on the BBC. The earliest of these was the classic ‘Round The Horne’, the four series of which had been broadcast between 1965 and 1968. Charlie Payne had put in a lot of work to extract some of the best scenes and update the scripts for modern consumption – a process which worked remarkably well.

   In the days when the sun was inexorably setting on the last territories of the British Empire, as Dad (& mum) helped maintain our sway over palm and pine, I had sometimes heard these via British Forces Overseas Radio as a background to the washing up in our Aden apartment. They were as funny now as they had been then and a timely reminder that filthy innuendo has long been a staple ingredient of British humour. Jeremy Irwin-Singer played a strait-laced Horne to perfection and Teresa Smallbone the classic BBC announcer of the period. Charlie Payne, in the Kenneth Williams part of Dr Chou En Ginsberg, MA (Failed), revealed such a remarkable talent for ‘Chinglish’ that coupled with his wife’s command of playful French (coming later) it made you wonder quite what went on at home.

   Perhaps my favourite scene from a succession of amusing sketches that had the audience laughing long and loudly was that involving the square-jawed and noble Charles (Hugh Paddick aka Paul Floyd) just back from ‘The Front’ and the desperately smitten Fiona (Betty Marsden/Sue Ashforth-Smith):

Fiona: ‘Tell me Charles… is it bad?

Charles: ‘… at The Front?…’

Fiona: ‘…  at The Front…’

Charles: ‘Pretty bad… at The Front… not too good at the back… but… he’s done the sides beautifully’.

   All perfectly timed and delivered in irreproachable cut glass accents á la ‘Brief Encounter’. You probably had to be 40s to 60s vintage to really appreciate this but that span probably included a good two-thirds of an appreciative audience.

   Before the interval we updated to Monty Python’s ‘Spanish Inquisition’ screened 1970 – those Halcyon Days! This really is difficult to act as it involves diabolical laughter and diabolical acting. Nevertheless, Paul Floyd as The Millworker along with wife (Heather Atkins) appeared suitably bemused as the sinister red-robed Cardinals (Jeremy Irwin-Singer & Julia Neame) employing speed, surprise and bungling inefficiency careened in and out of their living room failing to get out their words and thereby belying their reputation as the slick MI6 of 16th century Spain.

   During the interval, in anticipation of what was to follow in the shape of Douglas Adam’s ‘Hitch Hiker’s Guide to The Galaxy’,1978-80, I availed myself of two mind pummelling ‘Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters’. The author had advised never more than two “unless you are a 30-ton elephant with bronchial pneumonia.” The Galaxy sketches were a lot of fun and witnessed the debut of Sally Denyer, who nervelessly took to the stage in the form of Ford Prefect, half-brother of Zaphod Beeblebrox (Paul Floyd – who, in a multiplicity of roles throughout the evening, proved himself an untiring and adaptable actor with a tangible ‘stage presence’). Hopefully, we all got to sleep later without too much feverish pondering on the meaning of 42, generously revealed to us as the answer to the meaning of life.

   The 1984 to 1992 sitcom classic, ‘Allo, Allo’ proved a great note to end on. Teresa and Jeremy Irwin-Singer appeared in the first ever Filkins Theatre offering, Noel Coward’s ‘Hay Fever’ in 1986 although it may have been earlier at Cambridge when they were first cautioned to ‘Just say the lines and don’t trip over the furniture!’ It was just as well that the lusty René (played by Jeremy) was going into frequent breathy clinches in the kitchen with his own wife playing Yvette Carte-Blanche whilst attempting to ‘hang up the Knackwurst’. But he is nothing but generous with his attentions and also has an eye for Mimi Labonq (Sally Denyer).

   With energy to burn René is running an escape operation for downed airmen, in this case Squadron Leader Carstairs (the calm and unflappable Lorraine Chitty sporting the stiffest of upper lips and one gloriously festooned with a handlebar moustache). All is kept hidden from the beady eye of the Boche in the form of Oberst Kurt Von Strohm (Paul Floyd). René also has to cope with the complicated plans of resistance leader Michelle Dubois: ‘listen to me very carefully, I shall say this only once’ (Avril Payne: she of the beguiling French accent). However, when René attracts the attention of Gestapo psychopath, Herr Flick (menacingly played by Heather Atkins) it looks like he may well have hung up his last Knackwurst and that Carstairs could be visiting Stalag Luft 69. As you know, however, René always pulls through…

   The next morning, quailing before an impatient keyboard, I did wonder about the organization that had once produced such a phenomenal stream of comedy offerings. Has there been a ‘falling off’ or is it, as my wife contends, that I now spend all my time tuned into the golf? Perhaps it’s time to grow that handlebar moustache…

Thank you stalwarts of Filkins Theatre – Producers, Directors, Actors, Actresses, Sound and Lighting (Andy Hoad & Roger Chitty), Wardrobe/Props (Jane Martin) and all the crew manning the bar (Jennifer Rooke, Barry Heath & Hilary Skinner) for providing another very enjoyable evening of entertainment.